No Page For You

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Death’s Messenger, my empathic heart feels you drawing near. I will remain in a place where I no longer belong to be with her, because she is so dear. I do not fear you or the pathway you create, like her I know the Lord, so it will not be you dictating which final road either of us takes.

Oh yes…, now I can see your dark cloaked figure in the woods outside her door. You may come but her destination is determined so you can only take her to heaven’s door. I hope you grow impatient and frustrated as you wait. I supposed you smelled her dying heart but only God knows the exact date. 

Your gleaming eyes, green with death’s mold, I suppose to do what you do, requires a soul empty and cold. Only an entity with no feelings could take those without God in their lives, below to the depths filled with pain, darkness, and eternal fire. When you place your cloak over your intended’s eyes, never again to reflect an earthly sunrise, do you laugh or do you cry?

I have seen you approach with death’s sniffing nose many times before, boldly walking into many of the weak and weary hospital room doors. You didn’t dare come near me and my angels sitting beside my Dad’s bed as his breathing slowed, I knew he would never be the same again so ever so slowly, I told my angels to take him and my heart to let go. 

As I stare at your darkness from the safety of her warm and comforting last place, I wonder if I have misjudged you and the task you must undertake. Do you cry when carrying a lost soul because it no longer has a choice? Do you smile when you hear Jesus calling the one you carry towards His kind and caring voice?

Slink away you dark, slimy and smelly creature, pace back and forth if you must, this one belongs to heaven so for your partners in hell, this one is a bust. When the time for her heart to stop has arrived, I have asked God to send angels to carry her up to heaven under her sweet Saviors watching eyes.

Change, what a ginormous word you are, everyone is impacted by the meaning no matter how close or far.  The cost of ignoring you can be beyond measure, if recognized too late, dreams can disappear like stolen treasure.  

You're never too rich, too poor, too smart, too silly, too serious, too old or too young to miss the mark, we all have all ignored you, forced to live with results that tore us apart. The cost of change is sometimes high and sometimes low; I suppose that dictates how serious our thoughts and conversations about it go.

Change can come in an instant we all have learned, forcing you to stop and learn to breathe again while figuring out which way to turn.  I am surprised at how long certain changes can take, learning to look to God for the strength to patiently wait.

Despite my great big “brave” words about not being scared of being alone, it is still scary having no idea where you will settle and have a home.  Where will the Christmas Tree and all its presents go, how can I best stay close to friends and loved ones I know?

But please God, hear my heart, I am ready to do whatever you ask.  I love you and trust you to give me strength no matter the task. 

Oh Lord, today I am so beat up, my little warriors heart struggles to look up.  But unto you I lift my eyes and know the Holy Spirit hears my cries.

I feel the beat of gentle angel wings as they circle me and I begin to sing to Jesus, my Lord and King.  My armor broken by the swords of tongues, is gently removed, and skillfully hung.

"Brave little warrior", I heard Him call, "those that tried to harm you have been reduced to nothing at all.  Rest for a moment on angel's wings and allow My words to heal you as they sing.

Today is not your day to fight, for the lonely and wounded who have lost their light. Rest while I faithfully mend, your armor the darkness tried to rend.

Rest well beloved daughter chosen by me, a war is coming, one you can't flee. Back to the battle you will go again, and regardless of what you see, with My strength we will win. 

Be strong little warrior for I am with you.  The enemy will rage and find there is nothing he can do.  He will strike your armor made of priceless ore, only to find defeat, just like he did before." 

 One little paper cut, oh no, two little paper cuts, here we go. Three little paper cuts, the pain starts to flow. Four, five, six, little paper cuts, but no one knows.

Words that sliced flew around the place and soon she began to lower her face.  Away from words that cut up her heart, she wasn't even sure what she did to make it start.

Band-Aid here, Band-Aid there, soon there were Band-Aids everywhere.  “Your paper cuts are so small and little, maybe they seem large to you because your so brittle".

"What’s wrong now and why do you cry, words like this are always exchanged between a girl and a guy".  Love swirled hot and then it was cold, she prayed for freedom before she became too old.
She stood still for a moment so she could catch her breathe, her heart and soul had been paper cut to death. Against all odds her courage began to grow and God sent friends to help light the way to go.

In her heart she will always believe, God saw her tears and told her to leave.  He saw her as a precious gift, one the receiver blindly left in the mist.  
The receiver was now filled with great sorrow and regret, but God in his wisdom had better for her yet.  No promises could be trusted, her heart had grown cold but she hoped one day, once healed, to be treated like gold.

You can read books and watch videos on many delicious looking things, but until you see, touch and taste it for yourself, you don't know if it will mean anything.  Just like a Cracker Jack Box with a prize, you have to try it to know if you like it and it's surprise.  

Some prizes you will keep for a day, some for a week before you give it away.  If your lucky you get something to keep for a while, but blessed is the one who find a prize that will never go out of style.

A hundred or more boxes people may buy, some hoping a gold ring is never what's inside.  Others after time well spent, welcome the ring and use it to make something permanent.

You never know which way things like this go, and only by meeting in the middle and spending time will you know.   You can only hope they chose to respect the process and try to do no harm, to be themselves, be honest and not use deceptive charms.

What is the point to do it any other way, the truth will eventually hit you like a foul ball, uncaught, that went astray. ; )    If they meant anything to you at all, you will do your best to make sure there is no harm and no foul.

She had been there for years, a scrappy, happy, friendly little dog loved by all, but being older, her photo rarely made the "eligible for adoption” wall. Too busy playing with volunteers, her friends and loving life, to notice potential owners when they came around, well,.. maybe once or twice.

She really didn't notice she missed out time and time again, but the day came when a loving young man adopted Floppy, her best dog friend. She spun around so happy for her, but when the door closed, she realized all her friends were gone and a chill ran over her fur. 

A small voice followed closely by fear said, "this small cage may be where you spend the rest of your years". Her favorite blanket left behind by a volunteer who cared, for the first time didn't bring comfort, she looked around at all the puppies and was scared.

Determined to love and make a difference with what time she had left, she loved on other dogs and puppies who arrived scared half to death. One by one she watched them go to their new homes, thankful to have made a difference but there were times she felt alone.

Then a new family visited her for over a year, making many promises to take her home and hold her dear. She decided to take a chance on eight little hands, a huge backyard with an inside bed and lots of love promised by the man.  

A few years after she arrived, slowly things changed, and their lack of attention came as a surprise. She continued to love, guard and protect the house, as for the words "I love you" they became as quiet as the dreaded house mouse. 

Then the day came when the backyard became her permanent home, even the little hands had grown bored with her and once again she slept alone. She had heard of this from other dogs who had been returned, promises of love and affection would grow to be something only the dogs would yearn. 

Then the days came when so many cruel things were said, "what had she done" was the question running through her furry, cute head. Petted and paraded about only on special days, once over she would be put back up into her backyard cage. 

Longing for promises and affection from yesterday but they were rarely given so she ran away.  Several times they convinced her to return with promises of a warm house, but soon she was ignored, like their fat cat pretending not to see the dreaded mouse. 

She felt pity for them; she had done a good job loving and protecting them every day. She took off her little collar knowing she would never put it on again regardless of what they might say. She anticipated their attempts to keep her for themselves, but never again would she trust in anyone who would adopt her only to be put on an unloved backyard shelf. 

She wondered why they were fighting so hard, yet again, for her to return.  She felt nothing but pity with all their words, deeds, prayers and promises of lessons learned. Forgiveness was given taking the burden off of her heart, returning to the shelter and the kindness of friends she would in time, when her heart was ready, make a new start..

They say on a clear day you can see forever, old doubts about the road before you have been severed.  The sun is shining through the leaves, you begin your journey with open windows so your skin can enjoy the breeze.

Blurry days will come with the fear they bring, so do what we tell little kids when they get scared, SING.  Sing of His love for you and your precious heart, He has always known the best way from the start.

Why do we think we know better than Him, for goodness sake just pinch the skin you are in.  He created every cell you see on your arm, if you're smart enough to listen He will keep you from harm.

So sing, even if you have to do it alone, who cares if you are the only one home.  If you can't sing then hum a little tune, you will find a smile on your face appearing soon.