She Wanders

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I am blessed and cursed at the same time. Rarely do I feel “just a little," a blessing creating images and words placed by my heart in my mind. I am cursed by the imagination that follows the images I carry with me throughout the day. Sometimes cold and unyielding displayed in my eyes that can cut even the bold, other times so intoxicating I can barely walk unless it is towards the one I need to fall into and hold.

There are days when music must be placed on mute no matter where I am, too often it’s words and notes draw me into vain imaginations I can’t escape like sinking sands. The silence steadies my heart, my mind, and my feet, I can walk again in freedom, the sand disappears and I am standing strong on what is real and concrete.

If the water I choose to sail on is seasoned with the right amount of salt, I can float forever and never touch the sand. If it is too fresh and empty, I will grow weary and be forced to return to dry land. I long for the seasoned waters keeping me afloat in life’s waves, you never know how big they’ll be, bringing good and bad surprises depending on the day.

Wait.....Waves and water they come and go, sometimes swiftly and sometimes slow. It takes time for sailors to be able to understand how currents flow, allowing them to chart the best way for their ships to go.

Undertows, just like gravity can take you by surprise, depending on how powerful both can bring fear to your eyes.  Do you give in and let it sweep you away, or do you swim against it knowing today is not the day?

When the moon and stars are hidden from a sailor's eyes and clouds hide the charts nature provides, they question why.  On and off the charted trip a ship will go, confused about its direction without beams from the moon and star's shimmering glow.

But then....here comes the sun with its sparkling diamonds delighting weary eyes, allowing the sailor to course correct after surviving the long dark night.  Onward does the little ship go, where it will end up...well only God knows.

You are very nice and I appreciate all the attention, my headphones have to go on because I struggle with word retention.  No, I can't hear what you just said, I am going to write down my rhymes instead.

I think I will buy bigger headphones tomorrow, this guy wants to keep talking to my great sorrow.   I start wondering how big they come, oh my, here she comes with his third glass of Rum.

Appearance displays success but I see loneliness in his eyes, frequent travelers understand this whether on the road or in the skies.  I don't want to be the one to fix his situation, hopefully he will take a taxi to his train station.

As this continues on I wonder do I display a look, that one night stands are what I am seeking like reading one page in a book.  

This couldn't be further from the truth, those are as unwelcome as the pulling of a tooth.

They tell us we need a seat belt to keep our lives safe, but when life is crashing around us what holds you in place? There have been times my wild heart full of joy, was broken into pieces just like a forgotten toy.  

How did I do it, how did I hang on, when tears filled my nights until the breaking of dawn.  When moonlight so beautiful in my eyes, reminds me of a things that shouldn't  have burned out like a star 

falling from the sky.

In the middle of the darkest hours my mouth begins to smile, thinking about how much my Savior loves me and it stretches about a mile.  My heart slows down feeling a peace about my life, nothing has really changed and I sense the pain is closely swirling by.

A peace that passes all understanding stands between me and that pain, truth buried deep in my heart reminds me in this strength and faith I will gain.   How dire the thoughts those with no Savior must be, when in the middle of their darkness there is no faith to calm their heart's raging seas.  

So does the seat belt save us, maybe yes or maybe no, when it is all crashing around you only God really knows.  Hanging on to the armrest through the bumps and bruises in the sky, you'll find no drug or person will calm you when you feel like your heart is gonna die. .

The moon has started to appear, bringing memories of all that is dear.  Red or white I heard her say, and my thoughts begin to fade away. 

My eyes are closed but not with sleep, so everyone leaves me alone as my thoughts grow deep.  Friends and family fill my mind, as well as the fake ones that were unkind.

I heard the call again from up up above, to pray for my friend who had suffered much in love.  There had been so much loss, it was almost impossible to count the cost.

Wounds from life and those they loved, had hidden from view the Fathers patient love.  Back and forth to so many sources, running after peace just like wild horses.

Anger from loss and betrayal by temporary friends, made it hard for them to ever trust again.  God was not something seen as real and things in life were used as a way to not feel.

Sweet notes sent down from above, were taken into a box while still seeking true peace and love.  Melodies like gifts were sent out with beautiful rhymes, while God waited patiently for His perfect time.

Oh dear friend so valued and loved, by a Father who watches you from above.  Close your eyes and feel the breeze from angels wings, as they surround you while I pray and silently sing.